we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
