and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
