come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
