i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
