Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize