so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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