No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
this just has baby written all over it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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