Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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