dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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