Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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