are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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