my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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