Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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