I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
