Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
