i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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