i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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