...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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