How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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