I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
