don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
third nipple confirmed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
