Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize