Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Operation Purity has been aborted
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
