yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
