im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize