dude i'm inner monologue high
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
