It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
