yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
