It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
