i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
