That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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