Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize