My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
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I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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