Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
