She is in my trunk
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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