Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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