its not stalking. its research.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
