Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
not ubering you a puppy
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
