Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
