She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
