Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
