She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
As shirtless as possible
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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