In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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