You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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