It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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