If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
