I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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