Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
