...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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