this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So much Jack, so little girl.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
