He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
