I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
