I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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