I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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