it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
