how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
